Career.7/29/2013 2:59
Maybe you have heard this story.
Maybe this is your story.
Do you get totally emotional when you speak about your life or career choice?
That you wanted so much but it seems as if it is far from reality?
That you cry deep within your crushing heart with or without tears?
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I was confused whether i am going to pursue to be a doctor or to be what i am now, a nurse.Several factors were considered and in time, i have gone out of the crossroads.Thinking everyday that a dream is being crushed by the reality. Thinking about the endless battle between practicality vs passion.
Ive decided to pursue my career as a nurse, but along with that struggle of making a choice is…a dream that is being crushed by the reality
,that money matters a lot,as well as time for it would take a lot of time,
that life is short and i really have to live it well.
that there are too many hindrances for me to overcome if i would be insistent.
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.I want to be a doctor.I just do not want the prestige of having the capability to treat, if not cure people.I want to be an instrument of God’s healing hands.I want to save lives.I want to be called a Doctor.It is just life is so tricky that it has to offer you a lot of cons.
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.What is paying 100k-120Kphp twice a year for the wealthy?It is pretty much not an issue for them.I consider my family as middle earning.Both my parents are government employees.I have seen them working more than they should.
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We have a small business so as small entrepreneurs they had to work 24/7.I’ve seen them so tired that their moods cannot be blamed to be affected.I have seen their arguments in terms of finance and budgeting.I have seen their hard work, but it still wont buy me the most-wanted ticket for my MD journey. Moreover, the government had to take revenues of the incomes and we have lots of BIR thingy to pay for(You know,duty to the country. I really hope taxes go where they should be)
.I am the eldest of our 2 siblings. They are about to enter hs and college. I could feel the burden that i might give to the whole family if i wouldn’t be working as a nurse abroad asap. The pressure exists with the thought that instead of supporting them i will still be supported.
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Yes, Of course, it is on my mind to support them financially. But not yet. They have to keep themselves working double, no quadruple time just to send me off for this dream. Am i considered selfish for that? Can i blame myself for having been born with this desire planted on my heart? And after i graduate, i still need to ask money for me to establish. These are what i have thought of if i choose to be insistent.
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Bombarding pros and cons and related thoughts gave me countless sleepless nights. Maybe i can get that dream after i venture with my nursing career. If and only if, im still willing to go to med school, but as of now,yes. Yes.Yes.Yes..i would love to.. .
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From where i chose to stand, i can feel that my heart trembles as i take each step away from the dream. It’s really sad to think that i will not be going to med school as what my mind had set. (Well,it is true that you cannot get everything you want in this world.It sucks to realize life is really unfair.BITTER) It’s like my eyes has become bucket of tears whenever i see those who did not plan can proceed; that those who can pay for their tuition are just forced to study are already there; and that there are people who do not value what they have.
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I know the road to MD is not easy and many people discourage me. But i know the journey itself is totally worth it.They discourage of all of its negative side. Maybe just to comfort me as well that it is alright not to do that anyway cause I may still have a good future in the hands of nursing profe.
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.As of now,i have gone out of the crossroads. I will take the path of a nurse. Do some volunteering/enroll to post grad nursing training. Be employed,apply to other countries. Undergo examinations for licenses and take necessary processes and go out. This is the typical road-the dogma. But, i still want to be a doctor. This will be a long path but who knows.Only God. I know God has better plans than me. and i hope i don’t end up falling to pain or into desperation for the road that he is leading me into. So here, just doubling the dose of belief, trust and faith.
-Rz