Bully and Bullied
Maybe there had been a time in your childhood that you have been either of the two or both.
We thought that we already left them in the kindergarten and high school;But,the thing is some people have not outgrown it at all.
Where does bullying branch out?
It is a consequence of nature and nurture. The upbringing of child by the parents, the people that surrounds him as he grow and his environment outside and inside home.There must be some issues in the stages of development(but that is not what will be mentioned here) that has become pathologic and make up the totality of a person.That is personality.
Lack of Awareness
People make fun of others.And they lack the sensitivity to know that they actually hurt.The lack of sensitivity is a major determinant of how bad the bully is.
In a greater sense, the one who bullies is the one who has many insecurities in their own self. Why? They point out negative attributes to other person whom they think are less threatening in exchange for their feeling of being superior over them.
Imagine how could a person be so happy by piercing someone’s heart?How cruel, right?It is actually better if you are friends with each others because you know yourselves very well.(but still, be cautious or you’ll end up being FO’s)
“Mature-Immature” Bullies
Why mature-immature bullies? As people grow, their maturity level should also be developed along the way. Their have broader sense of thinking logically and abstractly. They now have the capability to think outside the box. Their understanding to the different people, world and its phenomenon must be, more or less,deeper than when they were in Piaget’s concrete operational stage. They have better capacity to understand and that understanding should be make used to relate wih others.
Comments and initial reactions should still be delivered with caution. What most people fail to realize is the boundaries of expression. Just because we are given freedom of expression does not mean we have the license to cut sharp using our tongues and to hurt others by our body language.
If a comment is supposed to be a joke, people may or may not laugh. If it is funny, people will laugh. If you make fun of people, the bully will laugh and probably be inviting other people to laugh hard too ,as in LMAO LOL ROFL.
Who is on the real losing side?
To those who understand this issue from this point of view, this person looks,more or less,pathetic than the actual person being bullied. The person is viewed to be a reflection of insecurities,frustration and an indefinite self. That means he needs to degrade another person in order to lift his broken or damaged self-esteem;and That he needs to hurt other people’s feeling, and that is a negative.
Thus, Those who find joy in habitual sarcasm, mockery and hurting other’s feelings has never experienced true happiness.
A bitter pill to swallow
So if you are person who blabber mouth,tactless,and enjoys making fun of other person, and at the same time you do not want to be considered to be insecure or worse a bully, or you just deny to be,it is time for you to think before you speak.
You will be viewed as pathetic,insecure and unhappy. Neither of us would not like that.
Acceptance is the key
I remember one of my professor in Psychiatric Nursing would always say that acceptance is the key to resolution of a psychiatric or psychological problem. Once the person has accepted the reality of the situation, the person can further scrutinize his behavior and mentality ;allowing him to think of ways to be better which leads to an overall improvement.
Bullies (or those who deny that they are) can be helped.There are still those few who understand them. But as of now, it is for you alone to accept it.
Challenge:
1.Do you always make fun of others?
2.Do you know if you have hurt someone?if yes, how long will it take you to realize?
3.Are you insecure?
4.Do you want to be regarded as insecure or pathetic?
5.Do you want to be better?
Examine your thoughts.Who knows if you have become one.
“Set a guard into my tongue,O Lord.Keep watch over the door of my lips”-Psalm 41:3